Forsaken
by FFlove190
Summary: Cloud sees Nibelheim again in his dreams, and he hears a voice of the past that he has still not fully reclaimed... [slight yaoi content]
1. Prologue

**A/N: **Fagh, I'm working on a really deep story right now… so I felt like writing fanfiction… hehe… deep fanfiction… (hey, I'm trying new things)…

Prologue

Wind hissed across the darkened streets of the dead town. The ashes were still hot, smoldering from the night before. Everything was destroyed, dying in a pit of flames. But, the mansion near the back of the destroyed town, which guarded the pathway to the forever looming mountains, remained standing. Its white and gray coloring was charred to a unhealthy black, and the gates to the entrance were mutilated into a grotesque mass.

In the center of this once quiet town stood a boy. His hair was blonde, and he wore an armor saw only in the army. The bright blue helmet with the face mask had been flown uncaringly aside in a rage. Black wrist guards and a standard issue blue uniform covered the shaking body. Nothing else seemed to matter as he looked upon the town which had been victim to the intense flames, and the memories which had occurred.

"Dear god…" he said, lip trembling. The boy looked around and the remains of the town, and sunk down to his knees, grabbing the earth around him in a desperate attempt to undo what had happened. "What have I done…?" he looked up, staring into the depths of the sky, vision blurring. "WHAT HAVE I DONE!" the boy grabbed his head, and pushed on his skull. "WHAT HAVE I DONE!" he repeated the phrase over and over, continuously pushing at his head, not seeing where he was headed, seeing only what he had done wrong. Suddenly, the young boy was stopped, gloved hands holding him down, ushing down his shoulders.

When the youth looked to the face of the one who had ceased his screams and brought something short of a calm within him, he saw only lips. "You have done no wrong," the lipssaid, a deep, velvety voice ringing from them. "It was not you that caused this," at this moment, a hand was lifted from the youth's shoulder and wiped away a tear which was threatening to stream down his face. "It was I…"

Suddenly, there was darkness, and the voice screamed in agony, becoming echoing sobs, "WHAT HAVE I DONE!"

The boy reached out into the darkness which he was surrounded in, trembling. "Seph-" he shook his head, tears in his eyes. "Sephiroth!"

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor will I ever, it is the sole property of Squaresoft.

**A/N: **Rather short for a prologue, a little yaoi-like, probably going to die like this. But… do I really care? No… not really… my lake of happiness is dead (even though that's implausible because it's actually an inanimate object) and I don't know what I'm doing any more. Review if you really like this (I might fins motivation… OMFG!).


	2. Forgotten Kiss

**A/N: **This chapter's slightly (notice only slightly) longer than the last and I've edited it a few times, but there's probably something I didn't catch. Hope it doesn't ruin the flow of the chappie…

Chapter 1 - Forgotten Kiss

The blonde hero awoke with a start, sweat covering his muscle-toned body. He pressed his hands to his eyes, praying that what he just saw was only a dream, trying to calm himself down. Slowly, he pulled away his shaking hands and saw a field of white, a man standing in the midst of the falling snow, his head tilted to the sky. The hero dared not move, he watched as this man lowered his head, silver locks falling past his shoulders, and as the man turned to the hero, smiling. Then, as suddenly as the vision had occurred, it was gone.

In its place, was a room. The lighting was dim, causing everything to become shaded and vague. Shaking his head, the blonde unconsciously pulled the shadowed sheets from his body and walked to the window. Slowly, he pulled open the shade, revealing another scene of white. It took a moment for the hero to realize that this scene was just the frostbitten area around North Crater, and not a dream.

Shaking his head, he turned and looked about the room he was in. It wasn't the normal room he and his party rented out of the Icicle Inn, which included three beds and a table in the corner, but more or less just a room for a single occupant. In the middle of the room, was the bed, it's white sheets pushed to the side and threatening to fall off. On each side of the bed was a night table, on the left one was a small black old-styled phone and an old-fashioned lamp which seemed to glow like the life stream in the snow's reflective light, while on the other there was a white vase and a white lily. The walls were covered with the same green wallpaper with red-orange tulips going in a pattern which resembled isometric dot paper as the other room. The floor, too, was nothing but sanded wooden planks with a rug here or there. The door was in the corner, left of the bed, while the window was almost parallel to the entrance. Other than a few small differences, such as the actual size of the room and how low the ceiling hung,-as well as the furniture and its placement-, it was an exact replica of the room which he normally had.

Looking around again, the hero took notice of how his weapon as missing. Then, he shook his head and glanced down at his clothing, which was currently only his pants and trademark Shinra belt, and then he glanced down to the partially hidden box underneath the bed. He walked over to the box and bent down, pulling it out from its position and opening it, thus revealing his armor and his shirt. He pushed aside the covers of the bed and revealed the Ultima Weapon resting below the springs, next to his boots. Carefully, he pulled out his sword, it's sharp, crystalline edge coated with Sephiroth's red blood, and carefully ran his bare finger along its blade. While doing this, he tried to remember every event the adventure against Sephiroth had taken him on. But soon, he found himself thinking of his dream.

The warrior sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair, still looking at his sword. He shook his head and ran his finger along the blade again, trying to convince himself that what he saw was nothing but a dream -a twisted, mocking dream, but a dream none the less. After a short while, he winced, for he had cut his finger upon the sharpened edge. It bleed easily, as most small wounds do, and the blood fell silently upon the blade. Acting on a strange impulse, the blonde pushed his bleeding finger into Sephiroth's dried blood and gave it the appearance of being freshly spilled.

Upon doing so, though, his world spun. He looked around, suddenly in another place. In surprise, the hero jumped up, allowing his weapon to clatter upon the floor. His eyes were opened wide, yet he was frantically looking to and fro that he could not see he surroundings. But suddenly, he felt hands embracing him from behind, slowly weaving through his arms and then hand clasping near where his heart beat. Slowly, the blonde turned his head, shocked to see the silver haired man leaning on his shoulder, cat-like eyes reflecting happiness. After a moment, though, the scene melted away, and he was greeted by his childhood friend's chocolate eyes, her arms wrapped around his bare chest as they stood near the doorway.

"Teef…?" he asked, grabbing hold of her hands, noticing she still wore her fighting gloves. Silently, fleetingly, he wondered what had happened to him, but he found it unimportant at the moment, so focused on only Tifa's voice and her presence.

"Yes," the fist fighter replied, her dark brown hair tickling the man's back as she moved her head to look at his sword upon the ground.

"Are…" the swordsman looked to the wooden planked ceiling, searching for the right words. Eventually, though, he shook his head and tightened his grip slightly on the other's hand, asking a completely different question. "Are you okay…?"

The brunette pulled away from him and walked out before him, smiling, her hands interlocked behind her back. She was wearing what she had worn when Avalanche had gone on its adventure, a black lining reaching from her hands to above her elbow on both hands, with fighting gloves atop them, a white tank top that barely reached below her lung cage, a belt around her waist with two others going around her shoulders, a short black skirt, brown boots with black socks, and aquamarine earrings that resembled mako hanging off of her ears. Her hair was still tied with a red ribbon at its end, shorter strands finding their way past her shoulders and her bangs were still off to the right side.

"Cloud, are you okay?" she asked in a mocking tone, looking strait into the hero's glowing eyes, the smile still upon her lips.

"Yeah, Teef." he replied, eyes downcast and voice solemn.

The first fighter walked over to the swordsman and bent down in order to look into his eyes again. "You're lying," she stated simply, pouting. The leader of Avalanche just looked away, not wanting to say anything. "What's on your mind?" she asked, now standing up strait.

"… nothing…" he responded, looking to the ceiling again.

"Well, obviously its something," the woman replied, crossing her arms. Her reply was silence, sadly, she looked to the wooden planks, letting her arms fall to her sides. "If something's bothering you, Cloud," she bit her lip here, "you should tell me. All I want to do is help…" she trailed off, hands shaking.

"Tifa," the blonde stated, still looking at the ceiling. "nothing's wrong, and if something was, I'll tell you, alright?" at this point he looked at the brunette, smiling cockily. The fist fighter said nothing, though she seemed to relax slightly. The warrior cocked his head. "Teef?"

After a moment, the brunette picked up her head and smiled, tears streaming down her face. "You do that, Cloud," she said, nodding, "I'll always be…" she trailed off, biting her lip. The hero stared at her, confusion apparent on his masculine features. "I'll always be there for you, so you can come to me!" she yelled. He looked at her, shocked at her words and how she said them. But the fist fighter just looked away, then she ran out of the room, leaving the door partway open, not letting the swordsman ask any questions.

Sighing, Cloud ran a hand through his hair, looking to his weapon resting on the ground. He reached down to pick it up when a neatly folded piece of white paper fell out of his pocket. Surprised, the hero picked up the paper and flipped it open, now in a crouching position, the world around him blurred again.

Suddenly, he was looking over a black haired man's shoulder, watching as the stubby pencil scratched out illegible words at an alarming rate. For a moment, he looked around where he stood. The walls were a plain white, the floor a silver carpet, two desks were in the blank room, with only a door on its bare walls. The first of the desks was to the left of the door, where the hero stood behind the strange man, and the other was facing the door. Other than the desks -and the neat piles of papers on the second and the ravaging mass of papers on the first, as well as both the man and the hero- the room was as empty as one of Hojo's test tubes.

"Done!" the black haired man cried in a familiar voice, causing the blonde to jerk his head back to the paper. The man turned his head, revealing two lustrous mako eyes and a face which resembled Cloud's old friend -Zack-, giving the blonde a thumbs up. "Now Seph'll know everything in just one handy-dandy little note." the man then picked up the note and waved it at the hero, who had absolutely no clue what was going on, and then stuck it in one of his pants' pockets. "I'll give it to Seph on our mission in Nibelheim tomorrow, 'k Spike?" the man stood up, causing the swordsman to back away slightly, and turned around, putting his hands on his hips.

In a moment of shock, the hero noticed that this man wore the same uniform as he had during the course of his adventure. The clothing which he wore was that of a first-class SOLDIER, a black tank-top with a turtle-neck and black pants. There was also the belt, which Cloud himself was currently wearing, engraved with the insignia of a cross, connecting to the two straps across his shoulders. An armor plate lay upon his left shoulder, and an armored glove reached from his elbow to his finger tips. Upon his right hand was one glove with a cloth that had been latched on beneath it.

Since the man had received no response from the swordsman, he walked over to Cloud and shook his shoulder. "Hello?" he asked, holding the 'o' for a few seconds. "Anybody home…?" the blonde shook his head but then quickly nodded, slightly embarrassed by his actions, blushing. The black haired man leaned back from the blonde, for he had bent down in order to stare into the other's eyes, and it appeared that he was actually much taller than the hero himself. "That's good ol' Spike." the taller said, bending down again and kissing the blonde on the lips. The kiss itself was short, more like a peck than anything, and, amazingly, Cloud found that he rather enjoyed it, and thus blushed more. "I would stay longer but I think Seph'll blow a casket if he knows where I am," he smiled here, "I'm still on duty." he then ran towards the door, waving to the hero, who found himself waving back, and then quickly pulled the door open and shut it behind him.

In a flash, the swordsman found himself back in the hotel room, crouching on the floor near the Ultima Weapon. He looked around him, finding no trace of either the black-haired man or the office. Unconsciously, he touched his lips, wondering if what he just saw and felt was also a dream. Then, he remembered the note, still open in his hands. He read it carefully, deciphering the words into a legible script with a pen he found in one of the bedside table onto his left arm. Finally, he completed translating the words and carefully placed the note back in his pocket, then looking to his arm. He read it slowly, then read it again, making sure he hadn't just made a little mistake in interpreting it. Cloud pulled out the letter again, squinting to read it. He stood up, dropping the piece of paper, shock filtering throughout his system, and started to take a few steps back from the note. Eventually, he made it to the corner, where the door was also placed, and sunk into a sitting position against the two walls, thus closing the door.

The hero's entire body shook, as he tried desperately to tear the words out of his mind. But he couldn't, it seemed as though he could concentrate on only the words themselves, and nothing else in the world. Soon, he closed his eyes, his hands gripping his temples.

At that time, he heard the black-haired man's voice, narrating the note. "Dear, Seph," he said. "I'm kind of, sort of, helping Cloud share his feelings toward you." he continued. "Well, after all that time together, it appears that Spike's gotten really attached to both of us, and has told us a lot about himself, kinda makin' him an open book. But there's one thing he hasn't been able to tell you over these past two years, about the relationship you two have. Since there's so much stuff to do, he asked me to write you a note, to help him out. Now, this may come as a complete shock to you, but…" the voice trailed off, coming back fast, though, "Cloud loves you. No, not in that strange worshipping sense, but he loves the true you. Just wanted to let ya' know. Peace, Zack."

The swordsman couldn't see strait, he could barely even breath. His mind screamed at him, telling him over and over that it was a dream. All of it was a dream, and that Sephiroth had somehow survived, and was manipulating him now. He pressed his head, harder and harder, until it felt as if it were going to break. And then, suddenly, a loud crack ripped through the room, and Cloud fell to the floor in agony.

OOO

**Thank you…**

_Real-fan05- _I know… strange, huh? But, it's just… well… I don't know… an extreme urge… I guess…

_Shale 101- _Why you say 'huh?' There must be reason for this!

_Kikyo's Killer- _I'm touched by your concern, but its just that one too many late nights have driven me into a corner and I couldn't think of anything happy/random for my other fics. So then this fic was borned-ed…

_Labrat-Seph- _I don't know, but whenever we have a random conversation I get inspiration and suddenly have to start writing… now… how's Sephy now that Zack's at Shinra headquarters? (Reno's been really, really, really quiet now that I have the threat of Hojo on my side.)

**A/N: **I, truthfully, can't believe I wrote that. I mean, the kiss scene just popped out, it was never meant to happen in the first place! Yeah… review if you really want to see more…


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